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I AM who YOU made me. A monster. A machine.

Once I was job hunting. I’d FINALLY get a job interview, after tons of networking. Then I’d get rejected. This low acceptance ratio made me compensate by following up on my numerical advantage, and talking to more companies. The adversity made me better and better at networking, crafting emails, and getting in touch with hiring managers and HR. It was a brutal learning curve, but effective. Eventually, I’d got interviews pretty easily. Then offers. But by then, I had too many offers and had to turn some companies down, who were just STUNNED that an applicant would turn them down.

The HR people would be sad and surprised. But what was the truth? This was who they made me. I didn’t want to become this. I wanted to be able to simply walk up to any one company, profess my love for them, and get a job. But they were too choosy. I had to use mass. I didn’t WANT to get good at job hunting, but I was forced to. And now that I have had no choice but to become this machine, I’ve got to listen how sad they are??

Pickiness is totally their right. Just as it is the right of an antibiotic to kill bacteria. But the more selective the process, the stronger the strain is that mutates and survives it. If it kills only 50%, the population is still diversified and strong. But if it kills 99.9% of the bacteria, the survivors are extremely strong, and after breeding soon the entire population is too. The antibiotic is a victim of its own success. 

It’s the EXACT SAME with girls. Their selectivity forces you to use a mass-based strategy. You eventually learn how to approach. Then how to get numbers. Then solid numbers. Then dates. Then bounce home. Then overcome LMR. Then sex. Then getting sex again. Then get relationships. Then multi-relationships. Then avoid getting into relationships but still getting sex.

Each process is a huge learning curve perilously strewn with women’s pickiness – Her: “You know what, I’ve got other guys, I’ll catch you later”. FLAKE. Done.

That’s exactly how I eventually… EVENTUALLY…became a machine. I knew how to do it. I could utilize a number-based strategy, and my vastly improved skill dropped my attrition rates sharply. I could move through all the steps and have sex with a girl easily, and started getting relationship ‘offers’. But what had happened by then? I already had other options.

THIS IS WHAT YOU MADE ME. I wanted to just be able to walk up to an attractive girl and tell her I liked her. But apparently that wasn’t easy enough. So this is what I am now. And on top of it, now I have to listen to how sad they are??

L’Artiste Sociale

Of Mice and Men – how to negate women’s power and level the field.

Would you rather be team mice, or team eagle??

Most would pick team eagle. Why not? Eagles are regal, sexy, and can swoop down and DECIMATE a mouse in a ferocious and all-inspiring way.   A mouse is relatively defenseless, and is totally subject to the whims of an eagle’s mood. He may survive and escape an attack 25% of the time, at most.

A woman in the bar is an eagle. Men are 100% subject to her whims, and she can decimate and embarrass a man with as much ferocity as she cares to put in.  Act as indifferent as you like… when it comes down to it, in the bar women will always be the choosers and men attempting to get some from them will be at the mercy of her whims.

We may laugh at a guy that gets shot down or gets OWNED by a girl in a bar. A woman might preen her feathers proudly, saying ‘look at all these guys I shoot down… I am so awesome”. That is her power. And it can’t be stopped.

Men are mice, but we have a different power. There’s a reason many eagles are on the endangered species list, but mice never will be. Team Mouse may not be sexy, it may not be inspiring…. but our advantage is immovable. We have quantity. This allows us to turn women’s power against them. 

Men are mice, and our advantage is the ability to approach and game as many girls as we feel like. Any one approach to an individual girl may have 25% odds of survival… but it can be scaled cheaply and easily.

Team mouse is not afraid of losing any one mouse. As a man, you must not be afraid of losing any one girl. One-on-one… she has all the power.  But the playing field is leveled with diversification.  You are allowing her to walk because you know you have many more women.  Now, you turn girl against girl, eagle against eagle. You are now simply a conduit for female-to-female competition. Being totally ok with losing her shifts the power totally back into your court. She must now work to keep you, because the second she screws up, you are more than willing to let that mouse die. You’ve got scores more.

Women understand this, it’s why they are so competitive with other girls. and its why they are always griping about it. “Why won’t he commit, how come all these guys always cheat on me?”  They are simply mad because their one-on-one power with men, that they’ve had all their lives, has been trumped by men’s sheer numerical advantage.  We don’t care about any one girl more than Team Mouse would care about any one mouse.  In fact, her power now works against her.  The more she asserts her power… the more you start drifting away. Numbers are your power, and INDIFFERENCE is your weapon. The more she acts up, the more distant you become.

For men, if you don’t have numbers, its almost impossible to have any power. Just like if there were only one mouse out there, you’d be constantly worried. “How do I make SURE this works out? This HAS to work out” Now you are at the Eagle’s mercy, and powerless. As soon as you are hoping that any one mouse survives, your advantage is negated.  Even in long-term committed relationships, she must always feel that she could mess up enough and cause you to drift away. If not, you have no real check on her behavior, because you have no real power.

This is actually tied to why women are more insecure than men. Yes, rejection is brutal, and it’s hard to witness, but men are lucky because we get to SEE it. We know what we are up against. But for women, our advantage is invisible. They never know how many other girls they might be up against, if any. All they know is that me are generally ok with any of our options, because men are not nearly as picky as women.  Whereas men walk into battle and can see the army they are against, women walk onto the battlefield where the enemy is known to be, and there’s nothing in sight. Much much scarier.

Here’s where it gets complex. Why don’t women just pick the guys that don’t play the numbers game, that they have power over?

The truth is, they don’t really want these guys. While they may enjoy the ego boost, women are generally sexually repulsed by men that they’ve got on a leash, that they control.  It simply comes down to power — if she can control him, it means that she is the best that he can do, and clearly she can do better.

Women are much more sexually excited by guys that they can’t control. This power can ONLY happen because he’s ok with losing her, usually because he has other options.  If so, she’s excited to maybe be picked from amongst his options. She can easily screw up and lose out to another girl. It’s a challenge for her, and she enjoys it.

Women can’t have a numerical advantage — generally, their pickiness doesn’t allow it, because they would have to be indifferent between men, and that’s not usually how women are.  And even if they were able to be indifferent, they’d still be judged as a slut (unfortunately).

Even barring that, they still can’t leverage numbers simply because of scheduling. Whereas a guy can flip-flop 6-7 girls around each night of the week, and his girls won’t go anywhere and might even get more attracted from it….for a girl to do that she would risk either 1) pissing off the guy and him pursuing other options or 2) her losing attraction for him simply because she can flip-flop him around and control him.

Conclusion: A girl’s power is immutable, and face-to-face, she has complete and supreme power. You want her more than she wants you. However, that power can be subjugated by employing an numbers-based strategy that uses indifference as it’s main weapon. This levels the playing field, diversifies your options, and actually makes women more attracted to you.

L’artiste Sociale

Tension, Charisma, and why players are naturally bad employees

We already know this: One of the greatest dichotomies of game is that girls don’t actually want what they say they want. In fact, they seem to go after exactly what they say they don’t like the most. I’ve talked about this elsewhere, so no need to rehash.

The difference is TENSION. Tension general, not just sexual. Women SAY they like guys that don’t create any tension with them, and betas try to game girls by working to create as little tension as possible.  Alphas create all kinds of tension with the girls, blowing them off, disagreeing with them, ignoring what the girls want and generally doing what they want. Alphas give their own opinion primacy over others’ opinions… especially girls. That tension frustrates girls… but they secretly relish it. They may even try to piss you off just so you will stand up to their whiny-ness and show she can’t affect your good mood… which turns her on a LOT.

What is tension? Tension is basically the creation of a binary (either this or that) element that forces one party to be dominant or submissive. If I called a guy a bitch, that creates tension, because either he takes it and I have upped him, or he rejects it and thus has upped me. It’s binary… there can be no middle option after I have taken that action.

Between two guys, this is good. They are able to co-operate and have a mutual ‘we are equal’ respect. But as soon as one guy starts acting more dominant, leaving the other guy hanging on a high five, or interrupting him, or touching him too roughly, tension is again created.

However, women love this tension, and it is one of the great reversals in game the enlightened player learns. As betas, we are taught to be as agreeable to women as possible, that each side should give equally in ‘mutual respect’, or the guy should give more and the girl less. Tension is created when you are expecting the girl to give you much more than you give her in return, because you are dominant. Your opinion of matters simply supercedes her opinion, without even trying.  And if you can hold through that tension, to be unaffected and hold your frame as she tries to regain dominance, that polarity of dominance and submissive with make the girl want to have sex with you. Guaranteed.

Here’s a neat observation. Ever notice that guys that are good with girls tend to not be the best employees? And guys that are great yes men employees rarely get girls? That reason is tension.

Unless you are the actual boss/leader, people don’t value people who create tension in the workplace. That’s because it’s binary…  unless the tension creator is going to immediately become the next boss, he must be triumphed. Of course, if you are the boss, you can create tension whereever you want; its your prerogative. The conflict of opinions and tension is often released in nervous laughter and deferrence.

The problem is… companies are just like women, except the opposite. Companies SAY they want natural leaders, but they actually prefer the beta yes men that don’t create any tension. The natural leader who has certainty, conviction, and is able to inspire others with a clear, confident vision (which is really just an opinion) has a strong tolerance for tension and can guide a ship through rough waters as a leader.  But as an employee… he is extremely annoying. Nobody wants to be that guy’s boss.  So instead, company’s promote the beta’s until they become leaders, but how is a man who has been deferring to others his entire life going to suddenly be able to withstand the tension leadership and strategy demand?

A person with certainty, confidence, and an ability to effortlessly withstand enormous amounts of tension makes a natural, charismatic leader. Unfortunately, his boss’s hate him. Thus it is essential for a charismatic to learn to ‘play the game’. In history, many charismatics rose to the top… but far more were executed or assassinated.

Of course, this same person will have women falling all over him, provided he doesn’t change his thinking around women. I’ve long said that the single most important thing that women are attracted to is Judgment Authority (aka opinion primacy). Having that superceding opinion, effortlessly enforced, never having to overtly assert itself, initially creates alot of tension before it is eventually accepted.  But once it is (which it will be if it is done correctly), your opinion will have primacy, and you will always win, simply because you are creating all the rules. You can shoot an arrow an paint a bullseye around it.  Interestingly, shit tests are a last ditch effort to challenge opinion primacy, to see if you have the ability to withstand the tension. If you can withstand it easily, your opinion reigns. If you can’t, your opinion’s primacy is subjugated, and she will never be attracted to you.

L’Artiste Sociale

Women Are Too Picky… and It Costs Them Big Time

Let’s set up a great analogy so you can see how this ties into game.

The nation’s top law schools all have the same complaint. “We, Stanford, are the number 4 law school in the nation. Why do only 45% of the people that we accept, decide to accept our offer?! We spend all this time falling in love with an applicant, only for them to ditch us for another, better school that accepted them”

It’s a game theorist’s paradise. The college wants an applicant to fall in love with their school, who dreams of Stanford.  But the applicant looks around and realizes that all of the top schools, Stanford included, only accept 7-13% of all the people who apply.

No matter if they initially LOVED Stanford, every applicant has to play the numbers game and apply to 4-7 schools, to guarantee acceptance. The schools enjoy playing up that they are extremely selective… which actually encourages applicants apply to more schools.

Say you’ve got a pool of 1000 applicants that all applied to the top 5 schools. When all of the schools look at their OWN applicants, they don’t see where else they’ve applied. They simply pick the best applicants, the ones who sparkle. And what happens is that all the schools pick the same 200 people to accept. Most of the best applicants will have 2-5 offers from top schools.

Our Stanford dreamer applies and tries as hard as possible to convince Stanford of his love, but of course, every other applicant is doing that too, no matter their real preference.  But he has a strong background, and so he gets accepted! However, because of that background, it turns out he also got into Harvard AND Yale.

So now, he’s got a decision he didn’t expect. To make it, he starts looking at information he never looked at before.  At Yale, the prestige factor is higher, the starting salary is higher, there are better recruiting opportunities.  And so he’s too afraid to miss out, and chooses Yale.

If Stanford hadn’t been so picky, or they had communicated to him that, despite their low acceptance rate, he stood a good chance of getting accepted, then he may have only applied to Stanford. Or if they had gotten back to him with a yes/no decision before he put the other applications in. It’s not like our guy wanted to put the effort into 5 applications when he only wanted Stanford.

Women Are Just as Picky!

This is EXACTLY how the dating marketplace works. The girls are the schools, and the guys the applicants. Girls become more and more choosy, and make guys respond by spreading the field.  This means that, if a guy isn’t willing to wait to see if he MAYBE gets picked, he has to ‘apply’ to a bunch of girls at the same time. He has to act like he likes all of them, because he doesn’t know which one is going to accept him.

Say a girl is an 8.5, and she’s got tons of guys wanting her. But she eventually picks a guy that she likes. The only problem is, the very fact that SHE wants him likely means that other girls that he has ‘applied to’ want him too, and have already or will soon accept him. The bottom 80% of guys get rejected by all girls, and the top 20% get multiple acceptances.

A guy initially liked her, and would have dropped everything and dated her, had she let him know early on. But he strung her along, so she could be selective and maybe try for better, or to make him ‘prove himself’ to her. That uncertainty made him throw in another 20-30 applications (hit on some girls). And since he’s a catch, now he’s got a 9, a 9.5, and another 8.5 who is absolutely hilarious.  Early on, he would have picked this girl no doubt, but now that he’s got options he didn’t know he had…. he picks Yale.

The results in a huge amount of heartbreak that girls blame guys for. “He led me on! We’ve been talking for 6 weeks and he’s been all into me, and then he just blows me off!” The truth is he is only responding to the incentives she provided him by making him wait.

Interestingly, if our girl actually had a catch in this guy, by waiting she only guarantees that she loses him. But if she waits and the guy puts up with it, it means he must have got rejected (or assumed he would get rejected) with other girls, and that she is the absolute best he can get. Thus, she is getting the lowest quality guy a girl of her caliber could get. (or he’s talking to so many other girls he really doesn’t mind waiting).

There’s no other way for her to get a guy that is out of her league than to move quick. When you’ve already been accepted to Harvard or Stanford, you aren’t applying to slightly lesser schools. But if a slightly lesser school gets to him and accepts him first, he can be persuaded to take the sure thing and not put in tons of extra effort for girls that only accept 5% of guys anyways.

Yeah, a girl could accept the guy and him turn around and break her heart. But that can happen if she makes him wait too. Here are the options and results:
Ashley makes him wait/gives him uncertainty
Result 1 – he talks to other girls as he waits, then bails for his best option, breaking her heart
Result 2 – he talks to other girls, and realizes Ashley is the best he can get
Ashley either loses a great guy with options, or gets a guy without better options.
Ashley decides quickly and doesn’t make him wait/give him uncertainty
Result 1 – she accepts him and he breaks her heart
Result 2 – she accepts him and she gets a guy that she otherwise would have lost to a higher quality girl.
Ashley either gets a great guy with options, or she loses him.

It’s heartbreak vs mediocre guy, or heartbreak vs. above par guy.  Either way, she is better off with moving quickly.

INSIGHT
Girl’s have a tendency to base their behavior based on application numbers. “Sooo many guys are hitting on me, why would I NOT be picky! I’m a hot commodity!”  This is like the 20th ranked school thinking its prestigious because it gets thousands of applications – because it is a safety school. That school, when it decides to accept,  may only get 5-10% of the people that applied, and those are all the ones that couldn’t get into a better school.

It’s important that the safety school (or safety ‘girl’ ) isn’t delusional. It doesn’t start thinking it is a premium school simply because it is getting premium applicants. Even hot guys will hit on or have sex with a lower quality girl. It’s important that she realize the difference between applicants and likely offer acceptances. In other words, there’s a difference between what a girl can get temporarily, and a guy that she can keep… usually about a 2 point difference in guy quality.

A girl’s options deteriorate much faster than she expects, and it’s hard for her to tell. If she drops from being an 8.5 to a 7, she may still be getting lots of approaches and interested guys, but the likelihood of them accepting drops exponentially. It’s hard to tell a girl 7 who has been making out with and hooking up with 9-9.5 guys that the best guy she could get is a 7, but it’s likely the truth. This is because she is only seeing herself, and assuming the amount of times she’s getting hit on (applied to) give her power. She doesn’t account for all the other girls each guy has been hitting on/talking to also.

Either way, the instinct is to blame guys, when guys are simply responding to the incentives that are attached to girls’ tendency move slow, make guys work for it, etc… All of those create adverse incentives to higher quality guys. It’s not like guys want it to be hard… the easier the better. Who doesn’t want to only have to apply to one college?  You notice that lots of older women have figured this out and try to move the decision forward as much as they can, whereas it’s the younger girls that are flakey and delay.

For Players Only
Choosy girls that make you wait are your bread and butter. They are usually hotter, more naïve, and it gives you scheduling flexibility.  When  you are playing the field, the absolute worst thing you can have is a girl that gives you an early ‘now or never’ offer.  I made a living off of girls that thought they were in total control of me because they only ‘let’ me see them once a week… when that’s exactly what I wanted so that I could fill up the rest of the week with my other girls. They’d string it out until they were like, ‘ok NOW we can date, you passed the test’. By that time, there was no WAY I would date them, I haven’t been taking them serious for the past 6 weeks, plus I’d have to sacrifice my hard-earned weekly line up. Easier just to replace that day with someone else.  But if they had moved quickly, when my infatuation for them was strong, I probably would have taken that offer. Then that would have spurred me on to create a sustainable relationship with them.

 

 

Power, Dominance, Feminism, and Attraction

I almost never address feminism. Starting around 2011, half the PUA community suddenly became the ‘he-man woman haters’ club, and I just don’t understand it. We are here to get girls… by making girls happy by providing them what they want deep-down.

TRUTH: When it comes down to it, we are only successful with women because we are giving women what they ‘deep-down’ want. If they didn’t want/like it, it wouldn’t work.   We are not manipulating women. We are not tricking women. We are not forcing them. All we are doing is showing ourselves to be the closest measure to what they are ‘deep-down’ looking for, and allowing them to ‘make the decision’ (all the more because we ‘burden push’).

Thus, ALL our hard work is actually a tremendously valuable thing for women. It’s as if the magic ‘supermodel’ body pill had been invented and every woman was suddenly more attractive. Men are becoming more attractive to women, and the average woman is getting a better guy.  Other than this sudden anti-feminist movement that has started, its been pretty positive for women.

There is something I call The Grand Dynamic – it basically states that, in ANY social situation, when one person willingly accepts another person as more dominant than them, the person who submitted generally MUST be provided in return some emotional payment — a doggie treat for being deferring. “You’re such a hard worker Jon, thanks for staying late!” “Ahhh, you’re the nicest guy ever Chris!” If a guy willingly lowers himself to another guy, the higher guy will now be more friendly to him — but also have power. If he doesn’t lower himself,  he doesn’t get friendliness… there is the normal competition and tension.   If neither submits, and one person is giving too many emotional payments, then it is perceived the one giving must in fact be submissive and looking for approval (and thus deferring to their opinion authority).

The Grand Dynamic is a trade – people who submit and defer to others’ opinion authority receive acceptance, appreciation, love, or friendship in return. (all of these are labelled ‘heat’) This allows the submitting person to feel good about submitting. Power is traded for good emotions.

If a person does NOT submit, they CANNOT continue to receive more than just a minimal amount of these good emotions, otherwise it is implied the other person is lower.  This is why you will often not seeing guys giving each other too many of these emotional payments… it either implies you are submitting to them, or it implies that you are assuming they are submitting to you. Either one will cause conflict. Men must have a mutual respect for each other… we don’t take too kindly to being placed lower to other men.

Neither gender can control what the other gender is attracted to. If so, men would be fighting to find the girl that could eat the most Ben & Jerry’s, and women would be wanting a guy that could play Call of Duty for 3 days straight in his underwear.  But in the real world, men like women who are physically attractive, and women like men who have social power and dominance.

So when a guy lowers himself to a girl, even though she might APPEAR to like him, she is actually only giving him the required emotional payments she must give him for his submission — ‘ohhhh, I love it, you are SO thoughtful, you are the perfect guy!’. That’s really all that the friend zone is… he is submissive and defers to her, doesn’t have an opinion of his own, and she rewards him for his submission and compliance. She is firmly in authority, ultimately decides what will and will not happen, and the guy is either a follower or cut off.  She would never date the guy, because she wants a guy with dominance and power.

The opposite is the ‘perfect relationship’ (for 85-90% of women). He is in control, he leads and makes decisions and his judgment is final, but he is overwhelmingly passionate for her, appreciates her infinitely, and values her beyond this world. These are all intense emotional payments for her deferring to his authority. As SOON as she stops submitting, the payments must be cut off — if you continue to give payments to a defying person (guy, girl, co-worker, client, or child), then you are in fact submitting to them. It’s called supplication. Both that and getting mad at them for defying are bad. You can never attempt to force submission… it is a decision they make, and when they do and they come to you,  they start getting intense emotional rewards for it.  Instead of the ‘carrot and the stick’, think ‘carrot and the yawn’ — you reward compliance, and get quickly bored and wander away from defiance (never punish it).

How does this relate to feminism?  Because feminists want to be dominant like men,  but to still receive all the emotional payments that the typical female expects to get simply because she is female.   But that is against the rules of social power, of any type.  You can only have one or the other… dominance, or emotional payments… otherwise you are expecting others to be BOTH lower than you, AND to provide you appreciation and love. Emotional payments go DOWN the dominance ladder, not up it. If you want good feelings, you must submit. If you want power, you must be willing to go without.

Of course, feminists simply rationalize that they aren’t receiving emotional payments from men anymore because men are ‘resentful’ a woman is in power. The truth is, we could care less. We are used to it… there are women in power everywhere now, we are used to it it doesn’t bother.   But now that you are acting dominant, you are officially in the ‘man’-world, and so you get treated like a man. And men tend to be assholes to each other. We generally don’t care about each others feelings.

So it’s a cycle… feminists become more dominant, interpret that they are being resented for it, and thus think that that’s all the more reason women are discriminated against. You’re actually not being discriminated against… actually, you are being treated this way BECAUSE we are seeing you like a man, seeing you as an equal and a competitor for dominance. Men treat each other pretty cold and callously. In fact, if we were to go out of our way to be nice to you, to care about your feelings, we would be treating you like LESS of a man, because men don’t treat each other that way.  To treat a feminist even more like a man, I would say ‘get over it and stop fucking crying’… that’s exactly how a man would treat another man.

As far as relationships are concerned, men tend to not want to date feminist women. But it’s not their fault. For thousands of years, and to this day, women secretly desire (and clearly respond to sexually) men that are more dominant than them. Men that were submissive were rejected and didn’t pass on their genes.

Just as women tend to be disgusted by and would never date a man that what submissive to them (although their ego would like it and they would accept him as a friend), so to are men programmed to genuinely want and appreciate feminine, strong but eventually submissive woman. It is not contrived, it’s not a manipulative game to keep women below them.  Men just so happen to FULLY appreciate in women the very same things that women fully detest in men. When a man sees a girl he just started dating and is on the fence about ironing his shirt or doing his laundry, he generally becomes more sexually attracted to her and truly starts to love her for it — and the girl can feel this appreciation and desire. But  if a guy a girl was on the fence about did the same thing, the girl would say ‘ahhhh thank you, you’re the BEST EVER’ in that fake-nicey way (giving the required emotional payment), but she wouldn’t become more sexually attracted. In fact, she might even become repulsed, depending on how submissive she already viewed him. Side note: the way to recover from that is to reject her nicey emotional payment and do something that re-establishes dominance and opinion authority, such as responding ‘ohhhh shut up :)

In summary, there is things in life we can control, and things we can’t. We can’t control what the opposite gender is attracted to, and we can’t control the rules of social interaction… ie we can’t make someone submit to us AND provide us emotional payments.  As the point was made here, the issue with feminism is that it ignores these rules, asking for their cake and to eat it too (to be treated like a man, but to still be treated warmly)… or in the case of attraction, desiring non-dominant qualities in men that the vast majority of the female population absolutely cannot stand.  Men are just playing the game that they have been given, responding to what they know works, and playing by the normal rules of social interaction.

 

“Salesman” Game vs “Enterpreneur” Game

This article will show you how to create a woman-generating MACHINE that brings HOT GIRLS straight to your bedroom with relative ease.  You’re welcome.

Most people run game very much like a direct salesman.  The spot a target, they work the target, and then if it goes well, that’s great, if not, they go back to waiting for another target to work.  It’s an in-and-out thing, all night long. Eventually, they may have run the entire place. At the end of the night, they have ‘x’ amount of learning to show, based on how long they were ‘in-set’.

I’m not knocking this style of game. I used to do it once.  But I run an entirely different style of game that YOU will greatly benefit from if you can understand it and implement it.

I liken it to a game of Monopoly.  Most ‘PUAs’  are doing sales-man type game — they are making their money trying to get around the board in the fastest amount of time… to collect their $200 every time. (goofy analogy, I know, but hang with it)

Me, I am running Entrepreneurial Game. I am setting up the board, buying properties, and establishing my dominance across the board so that MONEY COMES TO ME.  I don’t even have to lift a finger. The only work I am doing is in making sure my SYSTEM is set up so that when others land on my properties, it pays me.  I’m not focused on when the other players are going to land or not — when I own the whole board, its only a matter of TIME. This quickly builds scale, and soon I don’t even have to work. In fact, I might not even pay attention to the game any more, but be laughing and chatting with the other players, without a worry in the world.

Just like starting a business, you are initially ‘in-the-hole’. The fastest way to get money in the beginning is to go do some sales, of course.  You might make $1k-2k doing that. But if instead you invest in building a business, eventually, you will make 1k-2k in 15 minutes, with little effort, while the salesman is still out there pounding the pavement earning every dollar.

In game, my focus is completely on becoming the ‘cool guy’ in the room. I chat with some girls, and then pre-emptively eject because I have to do something else. I chit-chat with cool guys… something the salesman sees as a ‘waste of time’.  I talk to ugly girls, and hot girls, and everyone… I create a SOCIAL VIBE that starts to suck people in… they can start to sense that that is where the FUN is at. This quickly starts to build scale — soon, I am getting introduced to bartenders, then DJs, etc…

Well before this point, hot girls are already in the mix. But they can tell I am prioritizing the VIBE (my business) over making the sale (getting the girl).  This REALLY starts to get them interested. Other girls will start to see other hot girls really digging my vibe and trying to hang around me, and now that is 100% open to me. Other guys will be wanting to be cool with me so that they can get access to my girls, which I totally allow. The whole thing starts to create a machine, a BUSINESS, that eventually allows me to just walk around the club and be engaged by people, to have girls constantly giving me that ‘come talk to me’ look.  Even when I am alone, people look at it as their ‘opportunity’ to come chat with me.

Because of my reputation, I am able to simply come into any group with complete ease — I am not only HV, but I am bringing in a VIBE. I am not looking for their girls, I am offering them all a good time. Girls zone in on this and get VERY attracted, because most guys are doing the salesman thing, ignoring the greater vibe to instead focus on getting the girls… but the girls are attracted to the vibe, to where the value is at.

No matter how GOOD your salesman-style game is, there is only so much value you can show doing that, and it’s hard to get the super-hotties like that. It’s like rounding the monopoly board… there is only so  much you can make that way, and eventually, the entrepreneur is going to make you start paying for your strategy. Every time a guy sticks to his salesman strategy, every time he ignores the VIBE that I am creating, he is telling the girl that he is goal-oriented, that he is trying to lay her.  And so he starts to fall further and further behind me. By the time he tries to join the vibe, he’s already too far behind. And his submission is just another person that is adding power to my economies of scale.

Don’t look at it so much as winning or not.  It’s not about submitting other guys, it’s really just about everyone coming together into a good vibe. Other guys like guys that are cool, but give them respect. In fact, the nicer I am and more value I bring to a guy, the more he will submit to me. Guys think that this means that I am lower than them (bc I am giving them value), but the truth is girls can tell that I am the dominant guy, because I am the giver without need.  And if guys try to resist me, they just look like powerless jerks — why kill the vibe for your ego?  When you own the vibe, you have a monopoly. You are Microsoft in the 1990’s… they have to come to you, or they must choose to suffer the consequences of choosing what everyone else has chosen.

The last scenario is simply two cool guys, that are both giving each other value and both respecting each other. This is even better than the scenario where you are the only winner, because now you have both COMBINED your forces. Look at it like a merger… now your star power is doubled and you both will start getting laid simply because you are best friends with the other guy. This is exactly how it is with me and my best friend, and we get laid A LOT together.

When you are focused on simply building your company, on building your VIBE, you will start to do it day in and day out. Pretty soon, girls that are texting you isn’t simply your priority… you are not worried about ‘losing the sale’. Instead, you are simply focused on creating a vibe, with everyone. Thus you are always texting on your phone lots of people, building connections and a group that others want to be part of. You may forget to even get back to the girl for a few days, but when you finally do, she will totally be able to feel that you are just projecting the VIBE, instead of simply trying to get her.  She will feel this and it will make her want you more than ANYTHING.

If you have read my Two-Dimensional Push-Pull article, you will know what a break is.  Basically, being focused on the vibe (the business) and not the goal is a great break, and allows you to cover the break with heat in the form of simply bringing them good emotions. They can feel the slight gap — that even though you are being nice and flirty, you aren’t being nice and flirty ENOUGH, as a guy that is trying would… this lets them know that there is more room for them to earn you, and they start working on it.

The  most value-added thing you can do is create good emotions in others, without trying to get something from them. This is really all that the vibe is. You are just genuinely bringing in good emotions… which people can reject or accept no problem, bc you have no goal but that vibe. This of course, brings them to you.

If you do this, you will have created a MACHINE that brings HOT GIRLS straight to your door-step. You don’t even have to hardly talk to the girls in the bar, because your status as King of the Vibe has already convinced them of everything they need to know. All they have to do is seduce you (ie you allow yourself to be seduced). You start to gradually like her a bit more and more…. at the price of her submitting more and more to you (which she will already be eagerly doing so she can get you). That’s it, its basically sealed-and-done at this point. You will be able to take home a girl and have sex with her when you’ve only been talking to  her for 30 minutes. It’s like when you have somebody land on St.Charles place with a hotel on it… it’s the same as having to round the board 5 or 6 times.

Note that even the guy that owns the whole board is still rounding the board and earning $200 dollars. Being a salesman IS an essential skill of an entrepreneur, and so it doesn’t mean you don’t have to still learn game. In fact, learning game will allow you to create this effective EXTREMELY fast, just like learning to be a salesman will allow you to start a successful company very quickly, if you so choose to. The difference is in your focus… in whether you are content to go out there and hunt for sales everyday, to have a high burn rate… or if you are going to leverage that initial work to create a business that brings them to you,  just like someone using their initial trip around the monopoly board to buy up properties.

So stop focusing on goals and on the linear, direct-sales sort of game and start focusing on the SOCIAL VIBE, on creating a business that brings girls TO YOU, that makes your life easy. Set up the machine, the processes, the flows, that make you the company that others seek out and find, as opposed to the one that has to go out there and make sales. It will change your life. 

Inspired?? Don’t forget to via email — its at the TOP-RIGHT CORNER of the page!   Also feel free to email me at lartistesocial@yahoo.com

LinkedIn is worthless AND invaluable

As an actual, direct, job-searching tool — in the way that it was intended to be, LinkedIn is generally worthless.  The only people who are on it are other people that are looking for jobs; people who actually have jobs check it much less often. Of course, there are recruiters on there, but they are generally immune to receiving emails… they are using it to source and headhunt others. And since LinkedIn has started monetizing their email service, it further reduces the value offered.

However, if you have JUST a bit of courage, ingenuity, and ability to use search tools, LinkedIn is actually invaluable… in a completely different way.

The first trick is to build your network as WIDE as you can… I don’t care if you will never talk to that person again, it doesn’t matter. You just need to have as much access as possible.

This gives you free access to enough data to allow you to use LinkedIn as a research tool, to pinpoint potential connections in companies that you would never have known about before.  Why? So you can COLD-CALL them.

I once was able to cold-call and obtain FOUR interviews in one day…it’s incredibly effective.  LinkedIn is a goldmine of good information for this purpose. Looking for a particular role in a  particular company? Do a search for that function or one close to it in the company. If you have a big network, you should have tons of access to data.

Now simply look at all the people and check their history. See anything in common?  Same school? Past employer? Have the same type of major? Are both of you goldfish fanatics? Perfect. Those are all your go-to people.  It doesn’t matter how relevant it is… you can spin anything into being a connection. ‘I was just curious, I’m really interesting in potentially working for Bain, but I was wondering if they allow fishtanks on desks? By the way, how do you like you job, can you tell me anything about it? What do you think I should do?”  You’re 80% of the way there.

That’s once you get them on the phone. We don’t have that yet, but fortunately it’s relatively easy to get their work phone number. Google for it first if you can — hint: thing like a customer that they would profit from and you’ll find it much quicker. If not, simply call any random person at the company and act as if you have the wrong number, and see if they can instead ‘help you out’ and give you the correct number. 99% of the time they will. Then you simply give your target a call.

This isn’t an article about how to cold-call effectively, but basically the person doesn’t know that they aren’t remotely connected to you through LinkedIn, so simply mention that you found them through LinkedIn and really wanted to reach out to them to learn more about the company and possible roles.  There is a lot of good cold-calling books out there, but really the book that made the difference for me was a negotiations book called Getting More by a Wharton business school professor that just blew my mind. I highly recommend reading it if you want to get good at networking.

Another great use for LinkedIn is career progression research.   Say you want to take this one job, but you don’t know what doors it might open. Well LinkedIn can come to the rescue. All you have to do is do an advanced search for people that USED to hold the job that you are about to go into. Voila! You can see your likely future.

Overall, LinkedIn will not directly get you a job, but it is a goldmine of information that will be invaluable in INDIRECTLY helping you get a job.  And for people who are already employed and need (paid) assistance, it is just incredible. So the correct way to view LinkedIn (and really, any resource in general) is to look at it outside the box, and see how you can use the data to your advantage.

The Secret to Getting Girls – Two-Dimensional Push-Pull

If you ever read one article on PUA in your entire lifetime, THIS is the one to read. It will instantly make you good… it truly is THE SECRET to game.  The article starts off at an intermediate level, and at the end, is at a pretty advanced level… discussing how to use this to handle multiple girlfriends and to keep your pipeline of future lays strong, certain, and ever-growing.

The traditional concept of Push-Pull is unclear and difficult to understand… which is a shame because its so extremely important.

Currently, push-pull is viewed one-dimensionally. ‘Be more into her, then be less into her‘. Hot, then cold, or cold, then hot. It’s a very awkward and confusing for the girl, and not in a good way.

Traditional push-pull has two issues: 
1) If you are into her and then not into her, she may think you took it as a rejection, which means you have no confidence.
2) If you are NOT into her, and then suddenly act like you are, she may be confused why, and may even be vengeful and seek to ‘shoot you down’ as a means of protecting her pride.

Either way, if you do traditional push-pull, you will struggle for a long time trying to figure out how to calibrate it and how to keep the girl from being confused.

The truth is, the concept is slightly busted. It’s a catch-22, and the community has blind allegiance to it. ‘You just aren’t doing it RIGHT, you need to CALIBRATE more” — actually, how about a novel thought — maybe the theory isn’t 100% correct?

That is in fact the case — push-pull is actually two-dimensional.

If game was a Ferrari, 2D Push-Pull would be the engine. Arguably the most important part would be the gas and oxygen (in this analogy, judgment authority and heat), but 2D Push-Pull is the engine that combines those and drives the interaction forward.

There is two sides in game — the front-side, and the back-side

Front side — All actions that, in isolation, would appear to be hitting on her or chasing her — calling her cute, touching her, doing things that show you like her, being warm to her, calling her sexy, SOI’s, etc… These can all vary in intensity from totally playful and fake… all the way to dead serious. The more serious, the more intense.
Result: Gives her a feeling of validation, appreciation, acceptance, and reward.
All actions on the front-side are labelled ‘Heat’.

Back-side — All actions that show an indifference to losing her, risk losing her, and show your opinion of what is cool/not cool, etc… is higher than hers (judgment authority). Examples: making edgy jokes, telling her you like something even though she just said she hated it, busting on her, not answering her questions, playfully calling her a bitch, being easily distracted, choosing to go to a party instead of go home to lay her, forgetting to text back, getting off the phone before her, dominantly deciding what we will and won’t do. You proactively give her the choice to defer and play along, or resist. Most guys do the opposite… attempt to reduce resistance risk.
All of these actions create a feeling of tension — of clashing opinions. One opinion must be higher (the judgment authority)… one person must be more dominant. One person gets to do what they want, the other must adapt or lose the other person.
All actions on the back-side are labelled ‘Breaks’ — for the tension they cause and how they break from simply following HER opinion authority (like 99% of guys do). Once this tension is created, it must be held. If you waver, it means you are worried about what she thinks and she is GONE brotha.

In normal theory, you can be dominant and have authority, but it doesn’t mean she has to accept it… she can just ignore it and walk away.  A lot of newbs have this issue – girls just blow them straight out as soon as they attempt to create tension.  This is either because she could sense their capacity to hold the tension was faltering, or because their was no promise of good feelings to entice her to accept your opinion authority.

This is where Heat (the front-side) comes in. Heat is her reward for allowing you to be the dominant person. It is simply a trade for deferring to your authority — you slowly establish your judgment authority via breaks, giving you the ‘final judgment’ on what is cool, acceptable, and not, etc…  This creates tension — she has the choice to defer or resist.  Your heat is the good feelings that allow her to defer (submit) and still feel good about it. It allows her to cross the ‘gap‘ that your break created. Your heat fills the gap, but you never shrink the gap.. she must come to you. The wider the gap gets (the more breaks), the more heat you must tempt her with to cross it. This is how you can give her a massive amount of heat and build closeness without appearing to be chasing her. It’s the secret sauce. 

The more she complies, defers, and submits to your judgment authority, the more you reward her with even  more heat. She quickly learns that she gets more and more appreciation, warmth, and good feelings the more she gives you authority. It’s actually a win/win for her — she doesn’t really enjoy having to make decisions anyways… she just wants to sit back and know that if she follows you, she will always feel good about herself and have good emotions.

Heat also builds trust — it shows that you aren’t trying to be dominant and forcefully establish power….you simply just are dominant because good emotions surround you. You are dominant GENUINELY… not as part of a power-trip or powergaming (see article).

Notice how this is different from traditional, one-dimensional push-pull, where you are being more into her, then less into her. That sends mixed signals, doesn’t establish dominance, and doesn’t reward. It just confuses her.

Two-Dimensional Push-Pull changes that. It is an ENGINE that trades her deferrence and compliance to your judgment authority and leadership… in exchange for heat, appreciation, closeness, and love.

This is why you don’t kiss a girl so that YOU can get some, so that YOU can ‘get closer to your goal’. You instead kiss her right at the time that she has most deferred/complied with your authority. So I might kiss her right after I do something like gently push her away and say (playfully) ‘omg, get the fuck out of here!’  There is a strong tension from that – I am proactively giving her the option to get mad, which means I am indifferent to losing her and thus dominant. The burden is on her to adapt to me or not.  I hold the tension, and let her respond and defer, and then I might say ‘omg, you are too cute, get in here’ and then give her a kiss.  Thus, the exchange is complete. (note: this needs to be done naturally, like you are just expressing your personality… not contrived and transparently obvious)

What if she resisted?  I wouldn’t kiss her, because she didn’t defer. But I wouldn’t let it lower my happiness an ounce or make me leave her, because that would mean I am looking for her opinion of me, allowing her to judge if what I did was good or bad, giving her judgment authority. I didn’t do anything wrong, she just didn’t get my humor, she didn’t adapt. I continue being just as normal, breaking, and giving her heat. I just don’t intensify the heat because she hasn’t deferred yet. Don’t worry she will.

In general, the equation is to keep you front-side and back-side about equal, maybe just a tad more heat.  But what you will notice is this… and this is the GREATEST TRICK IN GAME OF ALL TIME — 2 dimensional push-pull is a Virtuous Circle.  The more that you give her heat, the more breaks she will allow you to get away with and will adapt to you…. which allows you to create MORE HEAT… which again, allows you to get away with EVEN STRONGER breaks.  Pretty soon, you can tell the girl that the  moon is made of cheese and she will willingly follow you just because she is so conditioned to desire the heat that you give her. You can call her a ‘hooker’ in front of her girl friends and lovingly grab her on the butt afterwards… not only will she love it, but her friends will be jealous that she has a man like that.  (logically, this doesn’t make sense, but emotionally it makes perfect sense).

This is what I call Amplitude — if on a 1-10000 scale, you had 100 break, and 101 heat, that would be FAR weaker than having 9000 break, and 9090 heat, despite even ratios.  You have FAR more compliance, and FAR more heat progress in the second section.

Pretty soon, you can start to see that the goal of the GIRL is to obtain sex, and the goal of the GUY  is to allow himself to be as much of ‘himself’ as possible. Want to go hang out with your boys in Vegas all weekend and not call her? Since that is a strong break, all you have to do is make up for it on the heat side. She secretly LOVES that you do what you want, without looking for her approval. And she gets her sex and emotional appreciation out of it for compensation.  That is why, in my life, I honestly feel like all I am ever doing is handing out sex as a payment to girls, for them having adapted and let me do whatever I wanted. It’s why I’m able to have 3 girlfriends and cheat all the time: all I have to do  is, whenever I finally remember to call them that week, just be super appreciative and talk sexy with them, and they get the validation the needed in exchange for the torment I have put them through.

It also will make your pipeline extremely robust — because you have so many girls you are talking to, you are, by necessity, having to ignore certain girl’s text messages for days  at a time. Fear not — all you have to do is give even more heat to make up for the adapting that she just had to go through.  As your pipeline grows, this will allow you to free up a WHOLE lot of time that you would have been spending doing the stupid ‘back and forth flirty text message’ game.  Trust me, nothing wins that game quicker than a couple quick text messages that create breaks, reward her adapting, and then suddenly you disappear. Come back in a few days later with a ‘hey there you foxy lady’ and I promise you she is ready for a date with you.

As with any theory, this can be messed up several ways:
-You can’t allow your heat to look like you are chasing. This can happen if you give heat right in the middle of having just created tension so that you tension falters and it looks like you were afraid she was going to get mad, or it can happen if you accidentally give her more heat than you have made her adapt to on the backside. Both of these will convince her that you are chasing her — which means she is now the judgment authority (she can now sit back and decide what is good/not good enough, cool/not cool… and of course attempt to reward YOU with heat for compliance to HER authority). You now have to take this back.

- Not keeping a baseline level of heat always. If your heat EVER fully shuts off, it means that you were secretly looking for compliance. That means that if a girl totally resisted deferring to you, you would still  be nice to her — that is always her temptation to defer. If you got mad and cut the heat off, then that only increases her sense that she has the judgment authority and can control you. Instead, she is always free to get mad and walk away, and you will stay just as flirty and nice to her. If she comes back later, you continue to give her the same baseline heat, and the same level of breaking — nothing changes until she finally adapts, no matter how much she resists. When she finally submits, she gets the extra boost of appreciation  and warmth.

PowerGaming Part 2 – a Case Study

If you have already read my popular article on PowerGaming – the great PUA trap , then the below case study with one of my clients will illustrate just what powergaming looks like, why it is so tempting, and how to have good game instead.

Email from my client:

Hey man, my friend is giving me other advice and I am wondering if I should listen to him – here’s what he said.

“Playful, lighthearted, in the moment fun is what you do with a new girl, not an old one who’s already stopped your heart into a mush and put your nuts in a jar on the shelf.

UNLESS, this old girl is now a NEW girl from all the work she’s done and she’s CLEARLY STATED she wants to come back and work on your relationship. Otherwise, she’s taking you for a ride every time you talk, bro.”

He thinks I should not respond to chit chat from her even if she initiates unless she says something along the lines of “I want to fix the relationship”, “I want to work things out and try again”, “I really want to start over with our relationship and work it out”.

As in, completely ignore her, or maintain that I need space unless she wants to talk about us.

What do you think??

Response by L’Artiste Sociale — 

I disagree with him strongly. this is a kinda of intermediate game I call ‘power-gaming’, guys have become aware of needing to ‘be in charge’ and ‘control the terms’, etc… which is cool except it’s all inherently goal focused. Powergaming is a negative negotiation-style technique. The problem is is that this is ‘logical‘ — starve them out and eventually they will come to the negotiation table. it’s ‘guy world’ logic…. sounds right but is actually wrong. Because you aren’t tempting her with any good emotions that would make her want to come to you. By the way, that book ‘Getting More’, really clarifies this in negotiation terms.

The truth is, girls only chase good emotions. She will not lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling crying bc you have been ignoring her… she will just go on to the next positive emotion source. This always happens — I’ve never seen a girl starved into ‘submission’ — any decently hot girl has so many other sources of attention, she recovers quick. then you are forgotten about while you are sitting their trying to wage this little logical ‘siege’.

If any army is laying siege to my city, but I have endless food, safety, and happiness, then I am actually controlling THEM, making them stay outside my city for as long as they care.  I’m not bothered an ounce. This always happens — the guys little siege attempt fails, and they are forced to re-initiate after 3 weeks. But by that moment, there’s no reason for you to be suddenly talking to her unless you had been trying to emotionally punish her by ignoring her. You have starved the set and stalled it. While this example is relationship focus, this stalling can happen in less than 10 minutes at a bar.

Doing ANY of that is always needy and manipulative – people who are really in power NEVER have to attempt to be anything other than super nice and gracious — even if people are rude to them.  They always allow people to feel like they ‘nexted them’, because to them, they understand they are really just nexting themselves, walking about from value. Think about a celebrity — people can be jerks to them and they will still stay nice, bc they are THAT far above them. if a celebrity was secretly trying to ‘punish’ me by ignoring me so that I would do something they wanted, then who is REALLY in power? Instead, the power is always on the side of the happy person — the person that stays in good mood and light/happy is always the one with the power — the one that is brooding, ignoring, punishing, etc… is always doing it to get a certain behavior out of the other person, which is inherently goal-focused and powerless. Girls only follow good emotions — this gives them a lot of power if you are a guy that is willing to trade good emotions in order to accompish an objective like sex/relationship (99% of guys). Thus most girls have power over guys — but fun guys get laid.

Guys fall into the powergaming trap bc we are often SO locked into a reality of scarcity — we assume that a relationship or ‘love’ is a rare thing for both guys and girls, so we assume that if we ignore her she will come back to us because she has to, it’s so ‘rare’. but its not rare. especially for a hot 21 year-old. she’s got attention everywhere. you have to be acting like you are getting JUST as much positive attention everyday as she does, which is why you are always in a good mood, not really thinking about an objective, and are always having ‘attention deficit disorder’ — easily distracted. From HERE, you can now start making her chase, by running away and being aloof and hard to hold the attention of — because she will chase after the good emotions that you are providing. She is willing to make the trade in order to gain your appreciation and warmth. It’s the reason mixed signals work so well — she values how you make her feel, and the cost is that she has to allow you to do whatever you want, think whatever you think, etc… otherwise she risks losing what she values. She learns to adapt and defer to your authority so she can get more and more good emotions. This is classic two-dimensional push-pull.

Notice that when I told you to ignore her, its not punishing — its simply you being distracted by all the positive exciting stuff in your life, almost as if you forgot to talk to her. That’s why when you get on the phone with her again, you just be in a light fun mood — if you are all serious, she will know that you are waiting on her to make a move, giving her the power. The logical negotiation technique never works — it’s easy to understand this if you just think about how it is ‘emotionally’ to be a girl. A lot of guys can’t do this, so they can’t figure out what is right based on how they would feel in her shoes.

If you liked this post and my others, and would like to see more as they come out, feel free to follow me via email… the signup is at the top right corner of the page!  Or email me personally at lartistesociale@yahoo.com

PowerGaming — the Great PUA trap

If you are a newb… stop reading now.   But if you are an intermediate, this post WILL transform you from good to great in pick-up, I promise.  It may be the most important post you read this month. It’s long, yes, I know. But it’s long for a reason. When I train guys that are intermediate PUAs, this is the biggest issue I have to fix in them – and it needs to be fixed because an HB6 or HB7 might easily and lovingly put up with powergaming, but not an HB8+. If you want HB8’s and hotter, you need to read this.

I have also posted a PUA case study from one of my clients to illustrate just what powergaming looks like, why it is so tempting to do with girls, and how to have good game instead.

What is PowerGaming?  
– The powergamer is always trying to give less than he gets, because he is afraid he will ‘lose power’ if he gives more than he gets.
– The powergamer forces their power, rather than providing the good emotions that allow people to eagerly submit

Powergaming is the GREAT TRAP of the PUA Community — Guys become so focused on making her give you more than you give in return, in ‘being the prize’ that they don’t realize they are stalling out their sets because they aren’t giving them good emotions.  They start ‘ignoring’ girls into compliance, start doing too many backturns and being extra careful about how many ‘compliments’ they give. “She’s gotta chase me man, she’s gotta prove herself and earn me”  Of course, this works some, with insecure girls and girls that are enough below your league to value your looks, and thus PUA’s think it works.   But with hotter girls, this is bad game, plain and simple.

Some classic signs of PowerGaming – 

1) Expecting others to submit/want you BEFORE you are nice to them (huge)
2) Worrying that being too nice/friendly to people will undermine their ‘respect’ for you.
3) Expecting others to put in effort and sacrifice to ‘earn your approval’.
4) Assuming that being submissive is associated with negative emotions
5) Trying too hard to make their opinion the ‘top’ one — ie forcing their Judgment Authority
6) Directly engaging things — viewing things as win/lose — the winner wins and feels good, the loser loses and feels bad.
7) Trying too hard to screen people, as if you have to be ‘good enough’ to receive good emotions from them
8) Attacking her playful, vibing attempts to play with the frame as a serious power attempt that must be crushed – For example, if she said ‘maybe I will let you do that for me’, a powergamer won’t just flow with it, he will attempt to forcibly re-assert his power.

Watch this 1 minute YouTube video of a Powergamer — how many other PUAs have you seen that ran game like this??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQFRVIDYm20

You see, a person WILL NOT submit to you until they know that they will have good emotions from it.  Powergamers DO reward, but the cost/benefit ratio is too high for the submissee.  Powergamers aim to take more than they give — to keep a positive ‘trade balance’

The correct way is OVER-GIVING good emotions, while also just assuming their submission. If they don’t submit, you continue to provide and give good emotions, always, just like you do everyone.  When they finally start submitting, deferring to your opinion, to what you want to do, you just increase the good emotions they are getting from you EVEN MORE. So instead of calling her ‘cutie’ and ‘sweetheart’ like you do to every girl, once she submits to you (maybe by saying that she wants to do what you want to do), you say ‘god, you are too adorable… ok, let’s go!’. If its a guy, you go from liking him and appreciating him, to really boosting his confidence when he defers to you. This allows the submissee to feel good about it.

Now, you don’t try and give MORE good emotions when they don’t submit — that is chasing them. But you don’t give less  any less either… you must keep your baseline good emotions that everyone gets, even when they are a complete bitch to you. It’s like being a celebrity — why would they ever get mad? You must be a source of overflowing good emotions in your environment.

Done correctly, submission is a beautiful thing for the submissee — they get a leader that is bringing them good emotions, and they are also freed from responsibilities and forethought. They can just follow and feel great about themselves — its a huge win/win for them. They get to exist in the moment and find happiness there, knowing everything is taken care of.

If you don’t believe me, think about how tempting it is for a GUY to want to submit to his wife/girlfriends. ‘Just do what she says, she tells me when we are going to have our 2 times of sex per week, and the rest of the time I just get to do what I want, I get to play video games and focus on my work’   She rewards you with sex, and compliments about how good of a guy you are, and you work harder to make her happy. It’s easy — you never have to worry, it’s completely in her hands.  It’s the exact same for girls.

Unfortunately, PowerGamer pestilence is here to stay. For us, powergamers are annoying because it is REALLY hard to keep giving them positive emotions in the beginning, like you must do for everyone,  because they read your niceness as you submitting to them, to you wanting to get their approval.  ‘Haha, he’s being nice to me, and I’m doing nothing in return, I am so in power” Or so they think, until they realize that you are in high demand because you bring good emotions to people.  Eventually, even the powergamer must submit to you or be isolated. In your world, even the bottom rung of people still get good emotions — it’s just that the top rung REALLY get good feelings.

This is completely different than the PowerGamer structure where people at the bottom get completely shit on, and that is ‘supposedly’ their incentive to try and ‘work’ for the value of the top guy. The guys at the top get almost a par-for-par exchange in good emotions with the top dog but not quite.

In the correct way, people submit because it gives them good emotions… appreciation, praise, love. Yes, that does mean that some of their control is lost, but they also know that them giving up that control is not going to cost them good feelings in the aggregate  They may give up their ability to have the top opinion on things, or to dictate where the group will go, or whatever, but they won’t care, in the aggregate, because they don’t  lose good emotions. So they are happy with it; in fact they are glad to not to have to worry about the responsibility anymore. Thus, they can exist in the moment, and they will also trust and seek to protect your leadership.

This is all together is really the foundation of the concept I have created called “Two-Dimensional Push-Pull” (an article I will write up later) – It’s because submission is a BILATERAL trade.  Most PUAs (and people) view it one-dimensionally — good emotions in, good emotions out, keep a positive trade balance.   In Two-Dimensional  Push-Pull, it is actually an exchange of Good Emotions (appreciation, praise, etc…) out, deferrence to judgment, decisions, and opinions in.  This is the trade that makes healthy submission possible.  She defers to your leadership, and you praise her and make her feel overwhelmingly loved. As soon as she attempts to take charge, it gets cut off and you go back to being just simply nice, like you are to everyone. 

Like I said, this is a BIG trap for the PUA community — guys get so focused on this hard submission, in keeping this ‘positive trade balance’ that they just make you not want to hang around them. Then they get lonely and they are like ‘I guess nobody is just ‘good enough’ for me, because nobody is willing to work for me’.  NO, you are just a idiot because you are not giving anybody good emotions that they would be willing to trade to defer to you. They aren’t going to just defer to you for nothing — that just feels shitty. “She fucked up, so I had to punish her by ignoring her” What?? Dude, she’s already forgot about you and found new good emotions with another dude to fill the void you wouldn’t fill (pun intended).

For example: I friended this PUA the other day – I’m like ‘hey man, really good to see you on here, let’s hang out sometime, it’d be really great to meet up with you and have a couple beers!‘    What does his power-gaming self reply with? ‘cool’.    That’s it. Do you really think I am going to continue to re-engage this guy after he has done this? No, that would be chasing, I am not going to shove good emotions down his throat. If he hits me back up, I’ll be just as nice to him. But right now, in his world, he thinks he’s the shit — look how much that guy was giving me, and how little I’ve given back in return — I am SO the shit right now.  What he doesn’t realize is that he has starved out his interaction with me, just like he would with another girl. And I’m much less likely to defer to his opinion on anything or give him power, because I know he doesn’t care about my feelings and is trying to have power.

Anyways, this PowerGaming shit has to stop in the community. It’s why newbs and advanced guys are so much cooler and easier to hang out with than the intermediate guys, because they don’t pull all this ‘how much did he give vs. how much did I give’ bullshit.

Again, if you would like to see a good case study of what powergaming looks like, why is it so tempting, and how to actually run good game instead, check out my real life example of powergaming post.

If you liked this post and my others, and would like to see more as they come out, feel free to follow me via email… the signup is at the top right corner of the page!

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